Batman’s Skantz Gothic Gotham City on a chillin’ night There was a scream from a dream That started a fright I turned around to a sound That made me stiff And a feisty feline offerin’ me a lift And she said ‘BATMAN’ won’t you come over here And she said ‘BATMAN’ you have nothing to fear And she said ‘BATMAN’ won’t you step inside But please can you put these underpants on? Good golly! I like wearing Batman’s skantz Good golly! I like wearing Batman’s skantz Good golly! I like wearing Batman’s ………. They were grey coloured pants right up to my waist I said ‘lady, you have the most disturbing taste’ I could tell from the smell they’d been worn before And the knicker elastic really made me sore And she said ‘BATMAN’ won’t you come over here And she said ‘BATMAN’ you have nothing to fear And she said ‘BATMAN’ won’t you come inside But please can you keep your underpants on? Good golly! I like wearing Batman’s skantz Good golly! I like wearing Batman’s skantz Good golly! I like wearing Batman’s ………. Holy Smoke Batman… Cave dwelling creatures that come out in the night They gave her thrills and her shrills and nocturnal delight She had a frown at the brown in my smelly pants And a feast on the beast in Batman’s skantz And she said ‘BATMAN’ won’t you come over here And she said ‘BATMAN’ won’t you come over there And she said ‘BATMAN’ won’t you come everywhere But please can I try your underpants on? Good golly! I like wearing Batman’s skantz Good golly! I like wearing Batman’s skantz Good golly! I like wearing Batman’s ………. Lady Lemon’s Lingerie Lady Lemon’s Lingerie As beautiful as it can be Lady Lemon looks so much Like something I would like to touch Is there more to this girl than her lingerie? Is anyone’s guess Does that really matter in all honesty? In a five grand dress I’ve fallen in love again, I’ve fallen in love I’ve fallen in love again, I’ve fallen in love…..again Lady Lemon’s Lingerie Has everything that I can see Lady Lemon knows her mind Even though it’s hard to find Has the female form looked so heavenly? From her head to her toes She brings out a very strange dichotomy Do I love or I loathe? Chorus The moment is brewing Hours spent grooming All I wanted to know Was whether she’d show me her lingerie Lady Lemon’s Lingerie Never seen dead with me Lady Lemon understands The virtues of a very rich man What makes her tick is no mystery She likes the rub of the green If she wasn’t so thick it’d be a tragedy I find it quite obscene Chorus The last thing I heard she’s a wannabe On the TV screen The only work she finds is pornography On the London scene Chorus

Don’t be a saint I sold my soul to the devil and he came after me That son of a bitch sure knew when he’s been done I ran to my mother and pleaded for her sanctuary But she said son, son, what have you done? She said son, son, what have you done? But I said mother (don’t be a saint…..) The devil played a tune that grabbed a hold of me my friends I promised him my soul for that tune in return My mother screamed you listen here you no good son of a gun You listen to that music and your soul will surely burn The devil sent his mistress to exact a swift revenge Her punishment was hot she’d swore it’d never end My mother cried you’re gonna fry so grab your soul and run I said mother hush your mouth cos I ain’t never had such fun He said soul I want your soul I need you soul To eat it whole Don’t pretend that you’re good And you’re just misunderstood The devil took my soul and he laughed at me I’m just about to get myself some fun But when he saw the depths of my depravity There was no doubt I was my mother’s son So I said mother I tell you brother I hear you sister In the name of my father If you bargain with your soul You must make sure that it’s still whole

Mr. Bond Mr. Bond allow me to introduce myself Just in case you mistake me for someone else I am the one who gives you the bullets for your gun That being said I don’t expect them aimed at me and fired through my head ‘Cos I’m hearing now I’m living in fear of you now Precisely my point, Mr Bond You’ve a licence to kill Enjoy the thrill Mr. Bond A postcard from a foreign land Written in A language I don’t understand I never knew The things you told me weren’t true But now I know The only safe conclusion is that you will have to go ‘Cos I’m hearing now I’m just disbelieving now Precisely my point, Mr. Bond You’ve a licence to kill Enjoy the thrill Last night when I held you in my arms Your heart yearned for a place you’d only dreamed of I’ll never forget the look in your eyes When you asked me who it was they were scared of How fragile the life I gave to you I’ll take away the demons if I could They whisper they’ll take you away But I’ll be here to block their way I hope to God they rue the day Peace be with you Assalamu a-laikum Peace be upon you, my Love Sealed with a kiss A passport written by the Queen For all to see In the wreckage of a thousand dreams I heard it said Their children will thank us for their deaths But if it were me I’d find all those responsible and drag them to their knees ‘Cos I’m hearing now All hope’s disappearing now Precisely my point, Mr Bond You’ve a licence to kill Enjoy the thrill Enjoy the thrill Enjoy the thrill Enjoy the………..thrill

I’ll Stand Alone Somewhere in the city As the millions queue for bread All around you they lose their reason But you keep your head And if you ever stop to wonder And they tell you not to care Be strong my son, don’t worry For I am always there I’ll stand alone, I’ll stand alone, I’ll stand alone, I’ll stand alone I’ll stand alone, I’ll stand alone, I’ll stand alone, I’ll stand alone I’ll stand alone Somewhere in the city Stalks the angel of death And she feeds on every sinner Who lies with every breath And though the light is often hidden It’s there for you to see And my son, I will fight For your right to liberty Chorus And if they ever try to hurt you They’ll know not what they’ve done For Hell will hath no fury Like the wrath from me, my son And I will always love you And you’ll always be my son Chorus

The Ghost of Garnethill In the bathroom mirror Appears a ghostly figure And I can never hold his stare It’s a sad reflection I’ve lost all self-perception Can I be sure he’s really there? During the day and in the night Just when I think I’m alright He appears in front me De ja vu a sudden chill And I’m back in Garnethill And I’m scared by what I see A moment’s recognition Some strange premonition What it means well who can say Pull yourself together I don’t know if I’ll ever But I can’t stand another day My fate is sealed the die is cast And I’m haunted by my past But I hide it all away Cos’ I try to tell you why (but I don’t know) And I hate to see you cry (the ghost of garnethill) A knowing glance between us And all my misdemeanours He lays them bare for all to see Should I find redemption A word without perplextion Then I know there’s hope for me Cos I don’t know what I have done And I don’t know what I’ve become And I don’t know if you will stay Cos I try to tell you why (but I don’t know) And I hate to see you cry (the ghost of garnethill) Cos I try to tell you why (but I don’t know) And I hate to see you cry And the words that I find (just don’t show) What goes on in my mind The ghost of garnethill

Black Ties In Paisley Remember when, way back then, in Paisley Innocence lost, the lines that we crossed, we were crazy We dreamt the dreams but now it seems That I always wanted more So with one last song I turned and was gone And it’s black ties in paisley Oh don’t you know that I had to let go I couldn't have stayed on the path that was laid and though there’s stories to trace from the lines on my face there’s nothing I’d change I’m not quite the same But it would be nice to have you around One last laugh for the ghosts of my past in paisley outside the pubs the men smoke stubs with the ladies they shares some gags, some jokes and fags then they choke back the tears as they toast the end of a very good friend and it’s black ties in paisley Oh don’t you know what it’s like to grow old when you’ve stayed in a town that’s on the way down and though there’s stories to trace from the lines on their face it’s always the same you just change the name Oh it’s so hard to be back in town the final scene on the silver screen in paisley there’s no dry eyes as the hero dies trying to save me the last to leave amongst the bereaved hangs a sign upon the door god bless the ones who stayed for their mums or it’d be black ties in paisley Oh don’t you know what it’s like to grow old When you’ve stayed in a town that’s on the way down and though there’s stories to trace from the lines on their face it’s always the same you just change the name Oh it’s so hard to be back in town I’d like to think we’ll share a drink in paisley We’ll reminisce about the girls we kissed and just maybe Those shattered dreams and might-have-beens Will finally be laid to rest And I hope and I pray it won’t be a day when it’s black ties in paisley Oh don’t you know that I had to let go I couldn’t have stayed on the path that was laid and though there’s stories to trace from the lines on my face there’s nothing I’d change I’m not quite the same But it would be nice to have you around And though it so hard to be back in town It’s so nice to have you around

The Road Listen up people I’ve a story to tell About this road through a living hell The sky is grey and the snow is lead The birds have gone and all the trees are dead And I say lord please mercy me I learned to be a man at penitentiary All I have’s my pride – this devil by my side As I walk this road to a place unknown I found a man lying in the ditch Won’t you leave me alone you son of a bitch I asked him where did he come from He said that don’t matter it’s to hell I’m going And I say lord please mercy me I once killed a man cos he laughed at me I hear his cries as I watched him die As I walk this road to a place unknown I asked the preacher who baptised me Will the lord in death grant me dignity He said the lord has spoken now the lord has gone Died broken hearted over the death of his son And I said lord please mercy me My mother was a whore and my daddy a thief I have her eyes and his damn lies As I walk this road to a place unknown I Like It A Lot Get down rude boy, get down rude girl Get down rude boy, get down rude girl Get down rude boy, get down rude girl Get down, get down, get down, down, down Stay with me, I’ve fallen down And I’m not sure in these hard times ‘Cos I can’t sleep, I can’t eat I work all week trying to make ends meet But with your arms around me Your love devours me You are the reason Why I’m still breathing Cos I like the way you groove me baby And I like the way you turn me on I like it, I like it, I like it a lot I like it, I like it, I like it a lot I like it, I like it, I like it a lot You put groove in my rhythm And I’m hot, hot, hot Get down Stay with me, I ain’t got much time And I can’t think in these uncertain times To walk away from all that I have done Well that takes strength and I’ve got none

In Love With Your Lover Well he said to me It must be jealousy Why are you guarded ‘round my lover Guarded ‘round my lover But what he doesn’t see When she’s a lone with me She says she wants me for her lover Loves me like no other Although the things she says excites me I keep my feelings deep inside me But I’m in love (love) love with you lover I’m in love (love) love with you lover I’m in love (love) love with you lover And it hurts Though she’s in love with me Your honour’s safe with me ‘Cos I love you like a brother Love you like a brother But I fear for me And my integrity When I’m drinking with your lover Drinking with your lover Although the things she says excites me I keep my feelings deep inside me Chorus The only hope for me Is that eventually She finds another sucker Who takes her for a lover And if I admit my shame I’ll be the one to blame And I will lose a brother And my brother’s lover Although the things she says excites me I keep my feelings deep inside me Chorus

Jessica Rose Jessica Rose as everyone knows The supersonic soul of the party She asked me to dance And I stood there and laughed As she threw her knickers around me We we’re back at the flat And into the sack Before the sweat had dried into her back She stayed for a year drinking whisky and beer And spending Sunday afternoons in the park Jessica Rose, do you still love me? Jessica Rose, do you still love me? Jessica Rose, do you still love me in spite of myself? Jessica Rose the tattoos on her toes Tell a tale of fire and passion If I was to guess I would say it’s a mess But to mention it isn’t the fashion The booze and the pills The laughs and the thrills Dancing into the dead of the night The blood and the tears The screams and the fears Every look ending up in a fight Jessica Rose, do you still love me? Jessica Rose, do you still love me? Jessica Rose, do you still love me in spite of myself? Jessica Rose I’ve told you before I’m not a man to take lightly When I tell you ‘no’ I don’t want you to go Will you stay here so the sun shines so brightly? I could tell from her face she was sick of the place That I would visit every once in a while She went for the door and I cursed and I swore But she couldn’t help herself from that smile Jessica Rose, do you still love me? Jessica Rose, do you still love me? Jessica Rose, do you still love me in spite of myself?

Freedom, freedom, freedom Freedom, freedom, freedom Hear what I say yeah Hear what I say in the name of justice Hear what I say yeah Hear what I say in the name of love Hear what I say yeah Hear what I say in the name of freedom Hear what I say yeah Hear what I say in the name of love So don’t you look at me that way I’m your brother, I’m your sister And very soon there’ll come that day When we all rise up And send you to your justice day Chorus Hear what you say yeah Hear what you say when you quote the prophets Hear what you say yeah Hear what you say when you pass the blame Hear what you say yeah Hear what you say when you point the finger Hear what you say yeah Hear what you say when hide your shame So don’t you look at me and say ‘We got to pray yeah we got to pray yeah’ You can’t hide the truth that way We see your crime I think it’s Armageddon Time Chorus So don’t you look at me that way I’m your brother, I’m your sister And very soon there’ll come that day When we all rise up And send you to your justice day Chorus

You Know When You Know A skinny Barlinnie A hair of the dog A head in the morning Like Noggin’ the Nog A line on the coupon A line in the sand A quid in the pocket Fae the charity can I’m walking on water I’m falling a clatter You have me in stitches With all of your patter You’re rippin’ ma knittin’ You’re rippin’ the pish But I’ll never forget Our very first kiss Hey there lady I like you style You give me a chance I’ll make you smile ‘cos I know We’ve got a long way to go Lipstick numbers You wrote on my hand I’ll give you a call Whenever I can Cos you know We’ve got a long way to go Chorus: You know you know you know You know when you know You know you know you know You know when you know Lazy, crazy, hazy days Together forever come what may Cos we know We’ve got a long way to go Cast of thousands wedding bells Family, loved ones and all of our friends Cos they know We’ve got a long way to go You know you know…. Cos if you’re up or you’re down I’m always around Cos I love you I need you I’ll never deceive you I knew from the start That it came from the heart And life doesn’t get much…. Life doesn’t get much….. Life doesn’t get much better than this Before you know it a couple of kids We’re watching the pennies so we don’t hit the skids Cos we know We’ve still a long way to go Seaside sunshine camper van It’s always raining and never a tan But you know At least it’s not snow You know you know…. Cos if I’m up or I’m down You’re always around Cos I love you I need you I’ll never deceive you I knew from the start That it came from the heart And life doesn’t get much…. Life doesn’t get much….. Life doesn’t get much better than this When we’re eighty we’ll hit the road New York, Rio, Paris and Rome Cos we know We’ve still a long way to go Crash into Vegas mash up the town They’ll all stop and ask us ‘what’s going down?’ Cos they’ll know We’ve had a long way to go You know you know…. Cos if you’re up or you’re down I’m always around Cos I love you I need you I’ll never deceive you I knew from the start That it came from the heart And I promise you this Oh yes I’ll promise you this Sealed with that very first kiss Life doesn’t get much better than this

Dr. Gelati & the Lemon Garden Once in lemon scented Palermo A danger lurks in the garden A dark and sinister creed Who lives for money and greed And is bound by an oath of loyalty A murderous secret society We are many yet we are few We are evil but we are you We’re the best with many heads We’re the nightmare in your beds We’ve got lawyers, judges, bankers, soldiers too I am beautiful and I am bold I’m a killer and I am cold Just remember when we meet I have toothache be discreet Or you’ll end up lying, dying in the street Chorus Oh, you men of honour Oh, you men of class Behold, you men of honour If you don’t play the game You will live a life of shame And you’ll feel the wrath of mafia tyranny Bernadino, what a hero A socialist like Sicily’s never seen With his peasant federation He attacked our very nation ‘til we ran him down and shot him in the spleen Mussolini, fascist bastard! A scum bag of right wing tyranny He very nearly had us With his leather and his blackshirts ‘til the yanks delivered us ‘liberty’ Chorus Joe Bananas, Americanos Sicilian by birth through and through Narcotics we control We destroy your very soul And we’ll kill you if you turn the other way Luciano, he’s the capo di capo And you should live in fear When you’re lying in your bed He will shoot you in your head He’s a crazy motherfucker, he’s insane Chorus So here’s a warning to all of Italy You cut our throats? Be prepared for what you see For the smell of mafia has a lure To the rich, the powerful and the poor And the blood that will flow from our veins Won’t wash away all your shame Chorus